The Why...

11 Dec 2011

I have just returned from a beautiful time away with my family. I found time away a great time to reflect and get everything into perspective and mentally prepare for my time away on this journey to Tazmania. Sitting on the patio at the beach house in Britannia Bay, looking into the deep blue sea with tankers far on the horizon, I realised what a small vessel we will be on in that big blue ocean!

This morning Chris and I took Samurai for a walk on the beach and I measured out the size and shape of our yacht in the sand... I said to Chris "Imagine living on this little space for at least 50 days" I had over exaggerated the size which Chris quickly pointed out and against the breaking shore line, that space is ssmmaaalll.... The reality of this journey set a little closer to heart again and the sadness of the people I will miss weighs heavy on my heart.

I have many people I hold close, plenty of whom live busy lives. Family I hold dear to my heart and will always hold a special place in my heart made the time to visit with me this evening. I value the time they took to come and bid me a bon voyage.

I have a little more to ponder on now since the visit. My precious cousin Mike said to me "Leeky - You need a why...." He said, "you will need a purpose to get you through the tough times." I am now contemplative on my real purpose of this journey that lies ahead. I have been priviledged and blessed not to share my Captain Sasha's motivation as to her "why"... so why am I doing this?

My immediate response is to "support my friend through her journey"... That is her why though...

I think -

Is it - "To set a new South African record?".... That is a flimsy motivation....

Is it - "Because I can?"... What if I cant?...

Is it - "To get away from it all?"... It may be too far away for too long....

Is it - "To visit my sister?"... YES but why not fly?...

Is it - "For the attention".... Nah! that is just silly....

Is it - "To lose weight and get back in shape"... a little bit of a drastic diet me thinks!

Is it - "To discover who I am?"... Hopefully at 40 I think I should know who I am...

Is it - "To challenge my boundaries?"... I do that all the time....

Is it - "To live on the wild side and take on a challenge?".... Heading in the right direction but I also do that a lot....

Is it to - "Get in touch with my soul?'' I think that is the closest I can get to it at this point....

I am going to soak up as much peace and space that I can over the next 2 months and just take the time out to spend time with myself and my soul... I will be there for Sash as I know she will be there for me, but introspecitive space is high on my agenda...

For you my precious Mike, I will ponder on this until I have a "one liner of the why" but as I said to you in parting is that the why for me to get through the bad times will be so that we will see each other after this journey. For the family, loved ones, and friends that I will bid farewell to on Saturday, at this point in time, for me my "why" will be so that I will see you again....